tolerance

tolerance: the allowance of the existence, presence, practice, or act of without prohibition or hindrance

There’s a saying that I came across a few years ago, a phrase that has really stuck with me, one that I have found relevant in a multitude of circumstances and situations. And it’s this: ‘You deserve what you tolerate’

You deserve what you tolerate.

It’s quite an uncomfortable phrase isn’t it?

It sort of puts quite a lot of emphasis on us, on our willingness to make decisions and bear the consequences of them. And it’s also not that black and white. It seems to suggest that there is a whole range of options for us in any situation, none that maybe particularly right or wrong, but all of which bring with them a range of consequences. And we don’t like that sort of responsibility really.

If, when she has some spare time, I let my daughter watch telly for too long rather than go out and play with her friends in the street, then it may make life slightly easier for me, and for her, for that moment. She has a nice time watching Doctor Who, and I get a bit of peace and quiet allowing me to create another dubious blog article.

Now actually, there is nothing wrong with watching TV. And despite what many psychologists tell us these day, I reckon it’s quite O.K. to watch it for a few hours at a time without becoming totally relationally dysfunctional. I do it from time to time. (Ok so I’ve set myself up perfectly there...). And I also think that it’s O.K. to let your children watch T.V. for a few hours at a time occasionally. Let’s face it, after a week at school, numerous children’s clubs and homework, who wouldn’t let their kidz slouch on the sofa for a while in front of the box on a Saturday morning? But if I let my daughter watch it too long, too often, a few things happen. Firstly she begins to believe that this is what her spare time is for. Secondly, it becomes harder and harder for me to change her view of spare time, should I want to. And thirdly she finds it all the more difficult to get back into the ‘playing with friends in the street’ mode. Which means that when I ask her to turn off the T.V. and do something more interesting, I have a battle on my hands. I have made a decision, to which there are consequences. I have tolerated something, and I deserve the result.

I deserve what I tolerate.

I got this press release on e-mail recently. I have removed the actual names.

"One of the world's leading contemporary hymn writers will return to the place that inspired his latest album - the highly successful XXX (some concert venue), in XXX (somewhere in the UK). XXX (the worship leader) - who goes back to the venue this autumn for XXX (a conference) - named his new studio recording XXX (the latest album), partly in recognition of this venue. For it was there that he presented some of his latest material to a massive 8,500-strong audience. The impact of that moment was remarkable. Since then, XXX (the worship leader) and his fellow worship leaders have been numbered among the likes of Coldplay and Snow Patrol for drawing such big crowds."

Now we could discuss endlessly the ‘right-ness’ or ‘wrong-ness’ of using such language such as this. We could talk about the need to make commercial decisions and make sure we are being wise stewards of money invested in albums and so on. And actually I’ve got some strong opinions on all of this - but that’s maybe for another time. But even if we can get to the point of justifying the use of such language (which I doubt - I mean let’s face it, when has worship been about ‘presenting material’??), there are still, very probably, some consequences. In fact, every time we are tolerant of something, there are consequences to bear.

Every time we put an album out into the market place with a big picture of a good looking worship leader on the front, we have to spend more time explaining to our youth that worship isn’t about giving profile and adulation to a gifted individual, but about giving profile and adulation to a Holy God.

We deserve what we tolerate.

Each time we put on a worship concert with an international worship leader, we have to work hard to re-establish in our local church that worship is primarily about the way we respond to God in our hearts rather than an experience delivered by a skilled musical performance.

We deserve what we tolerate.

Each time we put out a CD that claims to be ‘the best ever worship songs’ we have to work harder to convince songwriters in our own local churches that it is serving your own congregation, writing songs for your own local church that counts, and it doesn’t matter if you don’t ever get a song on a worship album.

We deserve what we tolerate.

Every time we put out a ‘live’ worship album that has had every wrong note, tempo inaccuracy and out of tune harmony removed and the sound of any congregation taken out from it, we have to work harder to explain to our congregations that worship is more to do with the united and untidy song of worshippers, rather than the neat and polished sound of a band and worship leader.

We deserve what we tolerate.

Every time we put a press release out that talks about a worship leader as being a draw for big crowds, then we have to work harder to re-establish that it is God alone who is due glory, and honour, and worship in this world.

We deserve what we tolerate.

It’s not that any of these things may be entirely wrong in themselves. It’s just that we have to bear the consequences of our tolerance of them. I listen to worship CD’s, even ones with pretty pictures of pretty worship leaders on the front. I like some live worship cd’s. Especially the ones with me on them (O.K. that was a joke). And I reckon I could go to the odd ‘worship concert’ and enjoy it. But the problem is that all theses things are becoming so high profile, so common, so much the focus of attention, that many people are now beginning to think that this is what worship is all about.

And it isn’t.

I had a sabbatical a couple of years ago. It was a hugely generous gesture on the part of my church for which I am so grateful. Whilst on my sabbatical I managed to visit a few churches that I had heard about. And I wanted to go and see for myself what God was doing there. One of these churches was a large church in London. The presentation of the worship was, in all honestly, nearly as good as any secular gig I’ve been to (O.K. so I haven’t been to one since 1981). It had great lighting, a very good band, and awesome visual presentations. I have to say I loved it in so many ways. I had no problem with any of the ‘glitz and glamour’. And I truly encountered God and was able to worship Him with some abandon.

Was the whole thing riddled with theological inconsistencies? Yes, I think it was. Did it fully embody the values I adhere to in worship and church? No, it certainly didn’t. Would I feel happy taking my children there and be comfortable that it was a good part of their spiritual formation? No, I wouldn’t. Am I happy that the place was full of young people who could otherwise have been in the pubs and clubs that day? Yes I am. Do I think that the worship team were operating with a heart for God and a desire to honour Him? Yes, I do. Could I worship God myself? Absolutely yes.

You see it’s not that easy. It’s not black and white. It would be so much easier if it was. But more and more I’m discovering that leadership is not so much about choosing between black and white, but about searching my way through an ever increasing number of shades of grey.

Looking at it one way, you could say, "Anything goes. Because of God's immense generosity and grace, we don't have to dissect and scrutinize every action to see if it will pass muster." But the point is not to just get by. We want to live well, but our foremost efforts should be to help others live well. (1 Corinthians 10:23, The Message)

I don’t want to ‘just get by’. I want to live well. But more than this, I want the people, the church that I help lead to live well too. And so for me, the question that we, as leaders, need to be asking is not “Is all of this ok?” but “Is all of this the best way?”.